Chuck Norris woodworking facts

Chuck Norris Woodworking Facts

A little humor here for your Sunday afternoon. I saw where Chuck Norris turned 76 this year. That’s hard to believe, but it is a fact. And these are Chuck Norris woodworking facts – no joke.

None of these are intended to make fun of the man. I’ve been a huge fan of Chuck Norris over the years. He may not be my favorite actor, but I respect him for his faith and integrity. He’s a great guy.

Sometimes we just need a good laugh. (Or a healthy diversion from this year’s presidential race.)

Without further ado, here are some MORE little known facts about the man, Chuck Norris:

  • Chuck Norris never measures twice. He cuts as many times as he wants.
  • Not once, but two times, Chuck Norris accidentally made perfect dovetail joints.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t work off any plans – he is the plan.
  • When Chuck Norris made his first cutting board, it was THE first cutting board.
  • The compound miter saw was originally designed after Chuck Norris’s karate chop. The drill press was inspired by his spinning back kick.
  • Chuck Norris can build log cabins with one hand while he eats his pancakes with the other.
  • Did you hear the news? The term lumberjack is being replaced with lumberchuck. Why? Chuck Norris wanted it that way.
  • One time Chuck Norris hit his thumb with the hammer. The hammer was sore for 6 weeks.
  • Chuck Norris DID put Humpty Dumpty back together again. And it only took one board and a little Elmer’s glue.
  • Chuck Norris is the inventor of the wooden pallet. In fact, every wooden pallet is assembled by him. Why else would they be nearly impossible to take apart.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t need a honing stone or grinder. He has his chin.
  • It was Chuck Norris who chopped down the Cherry tree. He forced Washington to lie about it and then built a picnic table from the wood.
  • Chuck Norris never puts his tools away. He makes his dad do it.
  • When Chuck Norris snores, he saws a whole forest. I’m thinking of that night he slept in the Great Plains.
  • How much wood could Chuck Norris chuck if Chuck could chuck wood? Answer: He says there is no “if” about it. And, it’s none of your business.

Well, there you have it — more facts about Chuck Norris that you probably did’t know. And if you’re doubting Chuck Norris is a woodworker, then think again. After all, he is Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris can be anything he wants to be.

Feel free to share this with all your friends or someone you think needs a good laugh. But please don’t share it with Chuck Norris.

Happy woodworking!